Pick of the Week:
Ran (1985). Directed by Akira Kurosawa. Starring Tatsuya Nakadai, Akira Terao, Jinpachi Nezu.
Ran opens for a run at Cinema 21 with a brand new restoration. This is an amazing King Lear riff with samurai that our friend Siskel once said. “The physical scale of Ran is overwhelming. It's almost as if Kurosawa is saying to all the cassette buyers of America, in a play on Clint Eastwood's phrase, “Go ahead, ruin your night” – wait to see my film on a small screen and cheat yourself out of what a movie can be." Don’t walk, run to see Ran!
Also Playing:
Quilombo (1984). Directed by Carlos Diegues. Starring Antônio Pompêo, Zezé Motta, Tony Tornado.
Playing at the Clinton from Church of Film on July 16th. This is a fantastic historical epic: “In 17th century Brazil, escaped slaves flee to the hills and form their own city state, Quilombo dos Palmares. Ganga Zumba becomes the President of this visionary, democratic society. But to maintain their enchanted community, they must fight back their Portuguese oppressors who seek to enslave them again.”
This Week:
Both Escape from New York and Escape from LA play at Cinemagic. Escape from New York plays all the time and is a classic but I feel like LA is goofier, dumber, and a little underrated and you never see it playing here!
At Cinema 21:
The Professional plays this weekend. The movie about an assassin befriending a little girl.
Criss Cross plays on July 12th. The classic noir with Burt Lancaster being forced into crime.
At Cinemagic:
VHS Night returns with The Dark Mist on July 11th also known as The Lord Protector: The Riddle of the Chosen…sure. Look it’s hard to make a movie. You need talent and tenacity or someone to bilk money out of, and you’ve got to be a good bilker!
At the Clinton:
Wall-e plays on July 13th. You know, the Pixar garbage robot movie. He is consciousness.
Holy Trinity plays on July 14th. “After huffing a mysterious aerosol can from the ubiquitous Glamhag brand, Trinity finds herself with a newfound gift for speaking to the dead.” The same thing happened to me.
Trailermania plays on July 15th for a program of curated 16mm oddities.
Prospect plays on July 17th—which is about space miners and has Pedro Pascal in it. It might be easier to just name the movies he’s not in this summer.
At the Hollywood:
Noir City comes to the Hollywood this weekend but most of it is sold out. Check this link to see if tickets are released, otherwise you can come over to my place (and see me sometime), have a drink, ask me questions about a missing dame, and I’ll hit you on the head with a lead pipe.
Madonna: Truth or Dare plays on July 14th. “In honor of gearing up for Portland Pride, this special edition of Fashion in Film will feature pre-show funtivities with the big-wigs from QDoc, Everywhere is Queer, and Lesbian Culture Club—including trivia, surprises, and prizes you won’t want to miss. Come early, dress loud, and celebrate with us!”
Heavy Metal plays on July 15th for all the radical dudes who have bitchin’ jackets, love wizards and chicks with three boobs.
Blazing Saddles plays on July 16th—hey! This movie is perfect and it’s always a joy to go see. One of the funniest American comedies every made.
At the Kiggins:
Grease plays this weekend so you can watch a bunch of 40-year-olds from the 70s tell you how terrible the 50s were for young people. Tell me more tell more!
Body and Soul plays on July 14th—the noir classic about a boxer! Lots of noir this week, what’s the matter Portland too much sun?
At the Tomorrow Theater (the Hub for Cultural Snackers):
Cecil B. Demented plays on July 11th with Bingo from Violet Hex! Always a fun time and this is an underrated Waters movie about cinema terrorists.
It’s All Gonna Break plays on July 13th. This is the Broken Social Scene doc that’s been making the rounds.
And Water Brings Tomorrow plays on July 13th. It’s“a film about change that looks at closed prisons around the U.S., considering what they’ve turned into, the community efforts behind their closure, and the forms of loss and reckoning that their closure does and does not address.”
All About my Mother plays on July 17th. This is the excellent Almodóvar movie that has been playing a lot lately. Another chance to see it! Hosted by two groups with baffling descriptions so who knows what to expect before the show. Kinked based sword fighting? Yes, spank my little bottom with that sword. Yes, I’m waggling it right in front of you. What? Wrong theater? Superman?Uh-oh…..
The Beekeeper (2024). Directed by David Ayer. Starring Jason Statham, Jeremy Irons, Minnie Driver.
The Beekeeper is a brain-dead, post-John Wick action movie that doesn’t fall into a lot of the bullshit that the Wick movies do—all that lore with Suicide Girls switchboard operators, the high table, and someone screaming EXCOMMUNICADO every ten minutes.
This is a movie about Jason Statham beating up tech-bros.
It’s two hours of Jason Statham cheerlessly beating up, torturing, and killing tech-bros. Jason is part of the Beekeepers, some secret government organization of super assassins who, thankfully, we don’t get a lot of information about. Jason is living on a farm with an old lady who is scammed by a tech company, her entire bank account drained, including a charity she is in charge of. She kills herself out of shame and Statham swears revenge.
The tech company turns out to have ties to the CIA, president, and helped rigged the last election with a crooked algorithm. There’s a lot of screaming about what is lawful and what is right with Statham silently murdering people who are actively ruining our society.
At it’s heart this movie is a neoliberal fantasy about having a safety switch for when our institutions fail because the Beekeepers are there to set things right. Statham is a spirit of vengeance coming to right wrongs because no one else will. It’s a fantasy but it’s a nice fantasy.
Why are they called the Beekeepers? Why are they obsessed with bees? Who are they? Why does Statham keep muttering “I gotta protect the hive” and why are other characters feeding us bee facts, like do you know what a queen slayer is? I don’t know. Who fucking cares. Sometimes you just want to watch someone break an ex-CIA director’s arm in a movie. Streaming wherever they don’t hate bees.
INT. OFFICE.
JASAN STATHAM is killing a bunch of guys at standing desks.
JASON STATHAM
Sometimes you've got to kill the queen when the hive is compromised.
CUT TO:
EXT. GAS STATION. DAYLIGHT.
The gas station is on fire after Jason Statham killed nine guys here. LADY FBI AGENT and MAN FBI AGENT are investigating. LADY FBI AGENT finds a book about bees.
LADY FBI AGENT
How interesting!
MAN FBI AGENT
This is so crazy. This guy has killed 100 people so far.
A body falls from the roof of the gas station.
MAN FBI AGENT
101.
LADY FBI AGENT
It says here that bees are technically mammals.
CUT TO. INT. OFFICE.
JASON STATHAM sets SMARK SMUCKERBERG on fire.
JASON STATHAM
Bees know the difference between what is lawful and what is just. They are the mammals with the strongest moral compass next to FBI agents. Also, the president is evil.